The False Memoires of Edie Stone: The Bathtub Incident
by Secret Slayer
Summary: AU Season 4 Prequel to The Key. Edie Stone's memories may be fake, but they explain a lot! ... Spike escapes from Xander's basement and hopes to make a deal with Edie, but Buffy's not going to like it!


**AN:** Okay, so I've decided to write these as one shots... Hope you enjoy. This is how I think things would have gone if Edie had been in the series. I enjoy writing in her POV, so think I'll stick to that for now, but The Key, will remain in its current style. Please review. I'm so happy you like Edie! There will be references to other flashbacks in The Key... so you might wanna check that out too!

**AN:** Spike escapes from Xander's basement and makes a deal with Edie.

**The Bathtub Incident**

By Secret Slayer

"Spike, what the hell are you doing here?!"

The vampire almost chokes on his beer at the sudden sound of my voice. His shoulders sag and he heavily puts his bottle on the bar surface, almost smashing it in the process. A couple sitting at the bar look at him nervously, before getting up and moving away. Spike smirks after the couple and I think he's forgotten I'm there, so I bravely prod him in the chest. He looks down at me and then rolls his eyes.

"Oh bloody hell," he grumbles.

"Did you escape _again_? Does Xander even bother to tie you up anymore?"

Instinctively, I reach into my purse to grab my cell phone and call Buffy. Typically, it's at the bottom of my purse and I'm too focused rummaging around to prepare myself for the ice cold touch that suddenly grips to my wrist. I yelp and jump, bumping into a large guy behind me. He gives me an angry look, but Spike quickly meets his gaze and with a flash of amber eyes, the man thinks twice and shuffles away, mumbling something under his breath. I look at Spike curiously, before remembering his grip on my wrist. I twist my arm back.

"Geez Spike, get some gloves," I say and he replies with an unimpressed glare.

I start to dig back in my purse, briefly wondering why the vampire hasn't run away yet. There's no way I could catch him and he could probably make it a fair distance before I'd even told Buffy he's escaped. My fingers skim plastic and I smile brightly, grabbing my phone and pulling it out.

He snatches it from my hand with lightening speed.

"Hey!" I yell, "Give it back!"

I jump to get it back, but he holds it higher. I grab his lapels and try to pull him down so I can reach my phone, but he's too strong and it's like trying to move stone. He chuckles at my efforts. With his free hand, he pushes against my forehead until I'm arm's reach away. I frown and swat his hand away.

"Now, now, if you're a good girl I might give this back," he says cockily, pushing his tongue behind his top teeth and raising both eyebrows.

I glare at him. "What are you playing at Spike?"

"I want to make a deal," he says seriously, nodding towards the bartender for another drink.

The bartender slides a beer towards Spike without question. Clearly, the young man knows the vampire isn't to be messed with. I doubt Spike even has to pay.

"And one for the lady," Spike orders. The man nods dutifully.

"I don't drink," I say instantly.

He rolls his eyes, "Live a little. Not the first time I've bought you a drink pet. Or have you forgotten our little dance?"

His voice is suddenly low and it sends tingles through my entire body. I remember our dance perfectly well. It had been on the first night we met, whilst he was stalking Buffy, right here in the Bronze. I try to ignore the wonderfully wrong memory flooding my brain.

"Buffy won't make a deal with you Spike," I retort as I take the drink he holds out for me. I smile kindly at the bartender and I sense he appreciates it, but is too scared of the vampire standing closely beside me, almost protectively, to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds. He edges away and serves a pretty girl at the other end of the bar.

"Who said anything about the Slayer?"

This time I almost choke on _my _drink. "You want to make a deal with me? Why?"

He looks at me evenly, "I don't entirely hate you."

"Gee, thanks," I grumble.

"And I know you won't dust me in my sleep," he continues casually. "You and that cousin of yours are pretty close, right?"

I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him. "Yeah, she's my best friend."

He nods confidently, clearly pleased with my response. I watch him patiently, waiting for his next remark. I have no idea where he's going with this and my heart begins to beat faster with anticipation. Spike has a habit of making my heart do that. I'm sure it has nothing to do with those beautifully blue eyes and perfectly full lips that rest among cheek bones so well defined, I'm sure they've been designed by some higher being. There's no doubt the blood sucking, well _former _blood sucking fiend, is easy on the eyes.

For the first time, I notice the music change. Spike's head tilts to the side as though he's trying to hear it more clearly. My breath catches in my throat when I recognize the song. It's the song from our first encounter - our dance. I still don't know what its called or who sings it, but every beat is ingrained in my mind. My eyes close briefly as I recall what is was like to be in the vampire's arms, both utterly vulnerable, but completely safe at the same time. I'm not sure if I am imagining the smell of his leather jacket or if whilst my eyes were closed, he's drifted close enough that I can actually smell it again. When my eyes flutter open, I realize he _is_ closer.

A sly smirk dances on his lips and I know for a fact that he recognizes this song as well. He looks at me with an intensity that makes my entire body hum. I want to run away and throw myself towards him all at the same time. I wonder if he'll comment on it or if he'll ask me to dance again - a part of me wants him to. I briefly wonder why it is we've never acted like enemies as we should do. Why is it that there's been this spark between us from the very start? Is it just attraction? Is it because I'm related to the Slayer? Or is there something genuine beneath the surface? I'm so caught up in this bizarre, but oddly brilliant moment, that his next words shock me even more than they would have done normally.

"I want to stay with you," he says.

This time I _do _choke on my drink.

"What?!" I squeak.

"That basement is driving me bloody insane. Demon girl makes my ears bleed and the boy is unbearable. I wouldn't even bite the sod," he rants and takes a deep, unneeded breath before continuing in a more calm tone, "I know too bloody well I couldn't get out of this hell hole of a town without the Slayer dragging me back, no doubt with my nose in a god awful state. Slayer stays at college most of the time, right? So it would just be Snack-Size, Joyce and you."

I sigh sympathetically, "Spike, I know you hate it at Xander's but you know... you are _evil,_ so I kinda don't care," I lie. I do care. God help me, I care a lot.

He grabs me by my bare upper arms, his hands almost wrapping entirely around them, and he winces when his chip fires. His jaw clenches as the wave of pain subsides and my eyes drift down to the large, pale hands on my fragile tanned arms. Guiltily, I think how much I enjoy the feel of his skin on mine, even if his grip was a little too tight. He's a vampire, for goodness sake! He loosens his grip and I'm briefly worried he'll let go all together. He doesn't, which I'm happy about, but the skin beneath his finger tips throbs slightly. That'll bruise in the morning. "Please luv, don't make me go back."

"Why should I help you?" I ask steadily, looking at his face warily.

He looks thoughtful for a moment, his hands still on my arms. I take a deep, shaky breath, trying to control the feelings coursing through me as his closeness becomes painfully obvious. I can feel his cold breath tickle the skin on my face as he exhales. Why does he exhale anyway? Stupid vampire doesn't even breathe.

"I've never tried to bite you?" he says hopefully.

I roll my eyes. "That doesn't really mean a lot when you nearly kill everyone else I know."

"Oh c'mon luv, help a vamp out," he sighs with exasperation. "I'll be on my best behaviour."

He pouts and gives me puppy-dog eyes. I giggle at the stupidity of this situation. Buffy is going to kill me.

"Fine," I huff.

He smiles brightly, reaches back to the bar and gulps down the last of his drink.

"I'm still tying you up," I say sternly.

He smirks and raises a single eyebrow. He doesn't need to comment to make me blush and know what he's thinking.

* * *

"Buffy's going to freak out!"

I finish tying Spike to the bathtub. I look at my efforts dubiously. I'm pretty sure I can't tie a knot strong enough to contain a vampire, but we had a deal and I'm desperately hoping the vampire can keep to his word. I'd keep him relatively comfortable and out of harm's way if he promised to behave himself and stop escaping.

Pfft, as if Spike can behave himself. This is a stupid idea. What _was _I thinking?!

"I know Dawnie," I sigh, glancing down at the vampire.

He wriggles, trying to get comfortable in the bathtub and then looks down at the chipped black polish on his nails. He squirms a little and rolls his shoulders, before looking up at me.

"Could give a bloke a cushion," he grumbles.

"Don't push it vampy," I retort.

"Mom's making you hot chocolate," Dawn announces eagerly to Spike.

The vampire grins broadly and leans back in the bath as far as the ropes will allow.

"Now, this is more like it," he says.

I give the vampire an irritated look before I usher my little cousin out of the bathroom. She rambles on about how cool it is that Spike lives with us. I try to remind her he's not a guest, but a hostage – a prisoner, but she's young, naive and has a crush on Spike about as big as mine, so I sigh and let her ramble on.

I skip down the stairs and to the kitchen, where my aunt is putting little marshmallows into Spike's hot chocolate. She tells me she doesn't mind that he stays here and that she believes he's been mistreated by the others. Again, I try to remind her he's not a guest, but it seems Spike has put his magic on her too. Instead, she argues that his chip is a chance for him to redeem himself and that he's never going to do that unless someone is nice to him. I agree with my aunt, but there's still the whole not having a soul issue.

I walk up the stairs, careful not to spill the vampire's hot chocolate. How ridiculous! I turn down the hallway and push the bathroom door open with my foot. I feel my heart sink when I see the ropes sitting limply over the edge of an empty bathtub. The only sign of the vampire ever being there is his coat neatly folded in the corner. Well, at least I know he's still here. He'd never leave that behind.

I check every room, but no sign of the fiend. I practically fly into Dawn's bedroom.

"Hey! Who said you could come in?" Dawn says grumpily.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

I frown at the brunette teen, "Spike!"

"Oh, I let him go," she says, shrugging casually.

My jaw drops, "You did what?"

"He said he needed the toilet," she replies innocently, looking confused.

I pinch the bridge of my nose with exasperation. "Dawn, vampires don't go to the toilet. They're dead, remember?"

She blushes. "Oopsie."

I walk out of her room, my heart racing with panic.

_Stupid, sneaky, bleached, pain in the –_

My thoughts are interrupted when I bump into something solid.

Spike is standing idly in the hallway as though he's allowed to do that. He's _not_. He's not allowed to do anything but sit in the damn bathtub and not move a single bleached hair on that stupid head of his.

"Where the bloody hell did you go?!" I ask harshly.

"I got bored," he replies casually.

He reaches into his back jeans pocket and pulls out a packet of cigarettes. He puts one between his lips and I clear my throat loudly, looking at the offensive little white stick with disapproval, although I am thankful to get the chance to look at those lips. He frowns with annoyance, but I stay firm and eventually after a very juvenile staring contest, he rolls his eyes and removes the cigarette.

I smile triumphantly and point towards the bathroom, "Go back to your bathtub."

"I don't want to," he replies childishly.

"Spike," I groan. "We had a deal."

"Can't I just go in there when the Slayer visits?"

"No."

"I'll be good."

"You're evil."

"I'll be less evil?"

"Fine! But I'm not letting you out of my sight. You take one step out of this house and I'm calling Buffy."

He shrugs nonchalantly, but I can see the smirk as he turns to walk away. He notices his hot chocolate, which I had dumped on a shelf, and swipes it up, taking a hearty gulp as he descends the stairs. I hear the television come on and he and Aunt Joyce begin talking about _Passions. _I stand in the hallway for a long and unknown amount of time, letting the absurdity and stupidity of the situation sink in. I've basically let Spike move in and do whatever he wants, and ashamedly, I know I'm doing it because I like his company and I've got very wrong and forbidden feelings for him. Eugh, I'm so screwed.

Suddenly, the conversation stops and Spike is rushing up the stairs and walks straight into the bathroom without any hesitation. I frown with confusion, but then I hear the front door open. I brace myself - well, at least he's keeping to the deal.

"Hi guys," Buffy calls.

"This is gonna be funny," Dawn snickers, her head poking out of her bedroom.

I give her a dirty look, but she giggles even more. Buffy walks up the stairs. She takes one look at me and frowns.

"What did you do?"

"Why do you think I've done something?" I ask, trying to sound offended.

She gives me a knowing look, "You have guilt face."

An overwhelming feeling of dread floods over me when I hear Spike begin to whistle something jaunty from inside the bathroom. Oh, he must be loving this. Stupid vampire. Buffy frowns with confusion, before her eyes widen. Either she can recognize its him or her vampire senses are tingling. She gives me one last look, before turning on her heel and heading to the bathroom. She flings the door open. I remain rooted to the spot, my body tense, anticipating what will happen next.

Buffy slams the door shut again and looks at me with a face flushed with anger and utter shock.

"Why the hell is Spike in our bathroom?!"

"Edie said he could live with us," Dawn shouts _helpfully_ from behind me.

I give Buffy a sheepish look and prepare for the lecture.

_The End (for now)_

**AN:** So I hope you liked that... I'm having some writers block at the moment. Well, sort of. I know what I want to write, but I feel like my style is a bit all over the place. Would really love some feedback to help me out and know what you guys think. Thanks!


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